My devotional "The Secrets of the Vine" by Bruce Wilkinson- tells me today,
"Pursue God with all your heart, determining that you will seek Him until you find Him."
This is going to take me some more effort- there are a few things I constantly struggle giving up to God, like my future career. I understand that if I'm not a Christian through the day I die, that it wasn't real- so I'm getting to the state of mind that Christianity is a lifetime thing, but I'm moving little by little- everyday prioritizing what I think Jesus would.
I also have talked to some non-believers, that say that they have seeked Him and can't find Him, can't find anything, etc. and I wish I could understand. This must be such a big struggle, and I grew up with Christianity so I have no idea how it feels to not have a God-safety-net (for Everything). They've always been on their own and fighting through in the dark... my heart is heavy for them and of my top prayer topics.
A close friend that took a lot of leadership in his Christian gathering at his college (and youth group before that)- was and kinda is doubting his faith. It was shocking to hear- he was my role model, and to hear that his words to his peers were getting empty.. it almost hurt. I talked to a non-believer about this and she saw it normal, that doubting is constant. The last thing I want to do is to be a hypocrite.... I'm sure I've been there and done that, but to hear that the most knowledgeable people of the Bible starts to feel distant from God.. it's not encouraging. But hey, we all run the race, and there will be mountains and valleys. Please help me pray for him.
You seem a bit fraught (understandably) w/ thoughts on the effort and insecurity of our salvation in your post ("if I'm not a Christian until the day I die, that it wasn't real..."). I hope, though, that you don't view your salvation as something that may fly out of our grasp if we let up striving and "fighting the good fight" for even one moment. Paul rebuked the Galatians for this sort of mentality in Gal. 3:1-3:
ReplyDelete"You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"
So even though sanctification spurs us on towards living a Christ-like life & eliminating hypocrisy in our lives, we still ultimately have to come back to God's statement that grace, and grace alone, saves us.
As for the doubtings of your friend, they remind me of some of the gut-wrenching questioning found in the Psalms & from many of the OT prophets (aka Jeremiah). I think that anyone pursuing a relationship, be it w/ God or man, will struggle w/ whether it is delusional/genuine on a repeated basis. The fact that there is wrestling and strife indicates that at least the relationship is meaningful on some level! Plus, God should be more than big enough to take our questions. The problem is that sometimes we don't bother to pose them to Him. Lack of communication (in all human relationships too) can kill any relationship. Keep encouraging him to test the Truth and get to the bottom of his questions.