Psalm 100
A Thanksgiving Psalm
1-2 On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
3 Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.
4 Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
5 For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday, August 10, 2009
Heavenly Hope
13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:13
How great it will be one day when that grace is lavished on us. Lately, God has actually been working more heavenly, eternal hope in my heart. For a long time, I honestly think I have been a little scared of heaven. I'm sure most of us- at least as kids?!- have wondered, "what will we do in heaven for all eternity?" But honestly, whether it is fear of God's judgment or distrust that heaven is actually what we are made for, a place where I can fully experience God's love and grace, I often still have the thoughts of "but God, I want to do (x, y, and z....) before heaven...." and I sometimes I've still wrestled through the doubts.
But lately, God has been reminding me that all the good, pure, creative, beautiful, loving things on earth are expressions of Him, and are foretastes of heaven. He's giving me hope for heaven, building assurance of the grace and love we have in him, and rooting me that nothing can take that away (Romans 8).
Earth is just practice for all eternity!
1 Peter 1:13
How great it will be one day when that grace is lavished on us. Lately, God has actually been working more heavenly, eternal hope in my heart. For a long time, I honestly think I have been a little scared of heaven. I'm sure most of us- at least as kids?!- have wondered, "what will we do in heaven for all eternity?" But honestly, whether it is fear of God's judgment or distrust that heaven is actually what we are made for, a place where I can fully experience God's love and grace, I often still have the thoughts of "but God, I want to do (x, y, and z....) before heaven...." and I sometimes I've still wrestled through the doubts.
But lately, God has been reminding me that all the good, pure, creative, beautiful, loving things on earth are expressions of Him, and are foretastes of heaven. He's giving me hope for heaven, building assurance of the grace and love we have in him, and rooting me that nothing can take that away (Romans 8).
Earth is just practice for all eternity!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Hard lessons
"Israel was a spreading vine; he brought forth fruit for himself. As his fruit increased, he built more altars; as his land propered, he adorned his sacred stones. Their heart is deceitful, and now they must bear their guilt." Hosea 10:1,2a
To be truthful, the summer has been difficult to weather spiritually. A bit of spiritual isolation, a helping of complacency, a generous pinch of self-denial. The tendency of perfectionists, I think, is to become consumed with outward appearances. Then it becomes all about our reputation and the impression we make on others instead of what we really are. Anyways, I found myself experiencing little interest in the DAT, little interest in daily devotionals, little interest in this blog (why subject myself to spiritual honesty & conviction??) within my first few weeks at home. The bad habits my superficial mindset was breeding were proliferating. I was wasting time and miserable because of it, yet afraid to 'fess up and repent.
Then I hit an all-time low of guilt and conviction about how I was not living by the Spirit and allowing things to spin out of control. One sin in particular was the root of my feelings of desperation and helplessness. I confessed to, thankfully, a wise Christian mentor whom God has fixed in my life--my mom, and for the first time, got a big fat source of low self esteem and brokenness into the open. The funny thing was, all these years I had expected myself to be truly repentant and humbled on confessing this sin to others. Nope. A good deal of anger, bitterness, and pride spewed up as I told of my actions, motives, and thought processes. How deceitful the heart can be! Mom had some convicting words for me to swallow too. My heart was far more superficial and hard than I had ever cared to realize. Sitting there, having just confessed some of the deepest, darkest things about myself, I was not sure if those who knew could ever look me perfectly straight in the eyes again, and I wanted to punish myself by curling up in a corner and refusing forgiveness or any second chances until I felt I was worthy to accept them. I wanted to be worthy of forgiveness and renewal on my terms. Because of course my faith walk and my life were all about me and how good I was before God.
On the day that this happened, my siblings were performing their last Shakespeare play in the park with a youth troupe and we had all been intending to go. I knew my presence would mean a lot to them, but I stubbornly sat in my room as my parents sadly left by themselves. Sitting there, crumpling up the 40th tissue, I suddenly felt God telling me, Get up and go enjoy the play. It doesn't matter what you've done. I give good gifts to all of my children. And I realized that the voice was right. God was only forgiving me as He had forgiven scores of prostitutes, murderers, and liers throughout history. Now it was time for me to accept that same grace and go LIVE and sin no more. So I did. I rushed to the play, laughed and clapped with the audience, took a zillion pictures Sonia and Nate, and managed to turn a corner that day in the way I dealt with my mistakes. I tasted grace just like the Apostle Paul had--the same sweet, loving gift--and I was thankful, even relieved.
And in the weeks since then, it's been a slow, but steady embracing of a Sprit-filled existence. I know I've hit upon the only way to live a truly happy life and I can't wait to see where it will lead me eventually. But I've experienced no mountaintop, and it's hard to be a zealous Christian. So many distractions and so many not-overtly-wrong things can lead me off the straight and narrow path. I have to choose to avoid old temptations, and sometimes I fail to choose what is right.
Now I simply know more than ever what it means to rebound after making a mistake. I don't have to separate myself from the love of God anymore. He has brought me to a new level of ability to relate to brokenness and sin and may He be glorified through it, Amen?
"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." Psalm 103:8
To be truthful, the summer has been difficult to weather spiritually. A bit of spiritual isolation, a helping of complacency, a generous pinch of self-denial. The tendency of perfectionists, I think, is to become consumed with outward appearances. Then it becomes all about our reputation and the impression we make on others instead of what we really are. Anyways, I found myself experiencing little interest in the DAT, little interest in daily devotionals, little interest in this blog (why subject myself to spiritual honesty & conviction??) within my first few weeks at home. The bad habits my superficial mindset was breeding were proliferating. I was wasting time and miserable because of it, yet afraid to 'fess up and repent.
Then I hit an all-time low of guilt and conviction about how I was not living by the Spirit and allowing things to spin out of control. One sin in particular was the root of my feelings of desperation and helplessness. I confessed to, thankfully, a wise Christian mentor whom God has fixed in my life--my mom, and for the first time, got a big fat source of low self esteem and brokenness into the open. The funny thing was, all these years I had expected myself to be truly repentant and humbled on confessing this sin to others. Nope. A good deal of anger, bitterness, and pride spewed up as I told of my actions, motives, and thought processes. How deceitful the heart can be! Mom had some convicting words for me to swallow too. My heart was far more superficial and hard than I had ever cared to realize. Sitting there, having just confessed some of the deepest, darkest things about myself, I was not sure if those who knew could ever look me perfectly straight in the eyes again, and I wanted to punish myself by curling up in a corner and refusing forgiveness or any second chances until I felt I was worthy to accept them. I wanted to be worthy of forgiveness and renewal on my terms. Because of course my faith walk and my life were all about me and how good I was before God.
On the day that this happened, my siblings were performing their last Shakespeare play in the park with a youth troupe and we had all been intending to go. I knew my presence would mean a lot to them, but I stubbornly sat in my room as my parents sadly left by themselves. Sitting there, crumpling up the 40th tissue, I suddenly felt God telling me, Get up and go enjoy the play. It doesn't matter what you've done. I give good gifts to all of my children. And I realized that the voice was right. God was only forgiving me as He had forgiven scores of prostitutes, murderers, and liers throughout history. Now it was time for me to accept that same grace and go LIVE and sin no more. So I did. I rushed to the play, laughed and clapped with the audience, took a zillion pictures Sonia and Nate, and managed to turn a corner that day in the way I dealt with my mistakes. I tasted grace just like the Apostle Paul had--the same sweet, loving gift--and I was thankful, even relieved.
And in the weeks since then, it's been a slow, but steady embracing of a Sprit-filled existence. I know I've hit upon the only way to live a truly happy life and I can't wait to see where it will lead me eventually. But I've experienced no mountaintop, and it's hard to be a zealous Christian. So many distractions and so many not-overtly-wrong things can lead me off the straight and narrow path. I have to choose to avoid old temptations, and sometimes I fail to choose what is right.
Now I simply know more than ever what it means to rebound after making a mistake. I don't have to separate myself from the love of God anymore. He has brought me to a new level of ability to relate to brokenness and sin and may He be glorified through it, Amen?
"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." Psalm 103:8
Friday, June 26, 2009
Hey girls, I'm at a Christian music festival called Masterworks Festival, and it's reallly reallly cool.
This was a devo journal of a couple days ago, kinda shows what's been on my mind while being surrounded by God-lovin music(classical)-obsessin people.
Jews calling Jesus a blasphemer- all the while Jesus is being himself. Questioning God's identity, while He is standing there, having beeen through this over and over. It must get pretty repetitive, that we need so much clarification on such things... But if I was in the crowd, would I be like the Jews? What would I be thinking in taht context? Perhaps a skeptical, "what is this man saying, he's crazy" mindset... and really, I don't blame these people for asking him over and over if he is the Christ. They don't have very much of a clue that they were supposed ot expect Jesus to be in front of them as a human, riht there int aht exact spot. For us today, we have Revelations and the other books that foretell Jesus' second coming, that there will be false prophets but what we're expecting is superhuman and it's... pretty epic and obvious. But, the Jews do consider themselves learned and experts of the Law, and there maybe were some hints that Jesus was coming to them... And they didn't believe Him..
10:27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.
I pray Lord that the truth you speak to all of us in the scriptures and in other ways you do, that I will be able to recognize your voice. I am not a lunatic, but I need help from more than just the normal, physical world... We all do.. and you're here and drawing me to you..
I'm finding you everywhere these few days, Lord. You are dwelling in so many of us, so brightly- I have never known it could happen like this, where we all come in once place and find you in each other. Maybe it's so intense because we all have so much in common- you know, with music n all our obsessions with the gift of music you've given us so that we can use such beautiful things to worship you.
This was a devo journal of a couple days ago, kinda shows what's been on my mind while being surrounded by God-lovin music(classical)-obsessin people.
Jews calling Jesus a blasphemer- all the while Jesus is being himself. Questioning God's identity, while He is standing there, having beeen through this over and over. It must get pretty repetitive, that we need so much clarification on such things... But if I was in the crowd, would I be like the Jews? What would I be thinking in taht context? Perhaps a skeptical, "what is this man saying, he's crazy" mindset... and really, I don't blame these people for asking him over and over if he is the Christ. They don't have very much of a clue that they were supposed ot expect Jesus to be in front of them as a human, riht there int aht exact spot. For us today, we have Revelations and the other books that foretell Jesus' second coming, that there will be false prophets but what we're expecting is superhuman and it's... pretty epic and obvious. But, the Jews do consider themselves learned and experts of the Law, and there maybe were some hints that Jesus was coming to them... And they didn't believe Him..
10:27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.
I pray Lord that the truth you speak to all of us in the scriptures and in other ways you do, that I will be able to recognize your voice. I am not a lunatic, but I need help from more than just the normal, physical world... We all do.. and you're here and drawing me to you..
I'm finding you everywhere these few days, Lord. You are dwelling in so many of us, so brightly- I have never known it could happen like this, where we all come in once place and find you in each other. Maybe it's so intense because we all have so much in common- you know, with music n all our obsessions with the gift of music you've given us so that we can use such beautiful things to worship you.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Safe. Loved. Secure....The Father Heart of God
....These three words jumped out on the front of a beautiful red and gold card as I skimmed the Father's Day cards at Hallmark.
Every Father's Day, it is somewhat of a struggle to find a card to send to my father, who has been both physically and emotionally distant for the last 13 years of my life. While I know that my dad loves me and thank God for the reconciliation and forgiveness He has given me, it is still hard finding a card that shows appreciation for the role my dad has and is playing in my life. The sentimental cards that talk about fathers shaping my character, dads ALWAYS being there, dads blending discipline and loving support, etc etc etc....just don't seem to honestly cut it when my dad hasn't always been there. Most years, I either go with a humorous card or a simple card that gets to the point, but emphasizing my love and gratitude.
Anyway, I found a Peanuts card for Dad, that affirmed that he is a kind, fun, loving person to be with, and wishing him a great day....but this bright red "Safe. Loved. Secure" card really spoke to me. It's as if God were saying, "Buy this card- This Father's Day, I'm buying YOU a card- to remind you that you are safe, loved and secure in my love, and that I will never leave or abandon you." So, I bought the $4 card, along with the others, and trusted the Holy Spirit that on Father's Day he would give me at least a few words to remind me of his love and promises.
I was fortunate enough to spend Father's Day at Rejoice! and with the Shelby guys (the family I'm staying with this summer: Pat and the boys). The Father heart of God was already touching my heart me during worship; I was noticing how the songs were thoughtfully drawing me closer to my Father God and how I need to trust him.... how easy it is for me to look to other things for that love!
But it was the beginning of Pastor Dan's message that reminded me of how intimately and awesomely God loves us like a Father: the message was about being "Wild at Heart," relating to men and Father's Day, and would allow for a brief time of personal testimony at the end. However, Pastor Dan said something to this extent, in regards to marriage, fathering, etc, that I knew was from the Holy Spirit, and it brought tears to my eyes:
"Many of you are struggling with your marrige or finances, or didn't have a dad that wasn't close or there for you: So on this Father's Day, GOD WANTS TO GIVE YOU A FATHER'S DAY CARD."
How cool is that? :-)
Our Father God is living, active, and wants to pour out his love on us.
Every Father's Day, it is somewhat of a struggle to find a card to send to my father, who has been both physically and emotionally distant for the last 13 years of my life. While I know that my dad loves me and thank God for the reconciliation and forgiveness He has given me, it is still hard finding a card that shows appreciation for the role my dad has and is playing in my life. The sentimental cards that talk about fathers shaping my character, dads ALWAYS being there, dads blending discipline and loving support, etc etc etc....just don't seem to honestly cut it when my dad hasn't always been there. Most years, I either go with a humorous card or a simple card that gets to the point, but emphasizing my love and gratitude.
Anyway, I found a Peanuts card for Dad, that affirmed that he is a kind, fun, loving person to be with, and wishing him a great day....but this bright red "Safe. Loved. Secure" card really spoke to me. It's as if God were saying, "Buy this card- This Father's Day, I'm buying YOU a card- to remind you that you are safe, loved and secure in my love, and that I will never leave or abandon you." So, I bought the $4 card, along with the others, and trusted the Holy Spirit that on Father's Day he would give me at least a few words to remind me of his love and promises.
I was fortunate enough to spend Father's Day at Rejoice! and with the Shelby guys (the family I'm staying with this summer: Pat and the boys). The Father heart of God was already touching my heart me during worship; I was noticing how the songs were thoughtfully drawing me closer to my Father God and how I need to trust him.... how easy it is for me to look to other things for that love!
But it was the beginning of Pastor Dan's message that reminded me of how intimately and awesomely God loves us like a Father: the message was about being "Wild at Heart," relating to men and Father's Day, and would allow for a brief time of personal testimony at the end. However, Pastor Dan said something to this extent, in regards to marriage, fathering, etc, that I knew was from the Holy Spirit, and it brought tears to my eyes:
"Many of you are struggling with your marrige or finances, or didn't have a dad that wasn't close or there for you: So on this Father's Day, GOD WANTS TO GIVE YOU A FATHER'S DAY CARD."
How cool is that? :-)
Our Father God is living, active, and wants to pour out his love on us.
Monday, June 1, 2009
not hurrying..
My dad is off to work this week for the first time in 10 months. Cancer's all gone! Hallelujah!
He never lost all his hair, there's some on his head right now..happy and healthy. Praise God!
Him and I will do another recital at the end of the summer.. I'm super pumped. Summer'll be the only time I get to dig into piano music..
:)
-------
second note:
I'm reading The Life you've always wanted by John... something.. Ortberg? I think. it's been such perfect timing to read this.
"We must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives."
Ah! it's easy to say now that I'm in my lawn chair outside in 75 degree sunshine and think of ways to slow down. It's easy to think that productivity, Type A and hurrying aren't directly related.. Hurry is sooooo embraced in our culture too! It was shocking to realize how I was in such a hurry to finish that page in the book!
Jesus spent much time in solitude before and after he hung out in town teaching and healing.
I guess for me, I've always just been shifting the balance to society- relax in the summer, work during the school year. But after this year I find it's quite overwhelming to do this. This effects everything that I do, and even much of my spiritual life. The busyness made me literally designate time with God, but after my schedule started to fade around celebration week, my special time with God seemed it flew out the window. I feel like I must diffuse a little of both into the whole year..mmm equilibrium (hehe).
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